If you’re anything like me, you subscribe to a lot of daily emails about marriage, about prosperity, self-improvement diatribe. Some of the advice works, but some just doesn’t. When I read something I know right away if it will work. I know if it will last more than a day and if it’s going to feel like a chore. Notice this chore thing I keep bringing up? We have too many chores in our lives–our marriage and its health shouldn’t be one, but it must be a commitment. It must be full of love. These little “promises” to spend 15 minutes a day together gazing into each other’s eyes, or talking deeply about our relationship. Doing mini intimacy practice for 2 minutes and rating each other’s success in listening skills. Those things just don’t work. It won’t last, at least not for more than a day or two and then something will interrupt it–most likely, the kids.
What does work? Dating! Make those dates. Don’t just say you’ll do it. Get the calendar out and schedule them. You need not write more than Date Night on the dates you want to have your outing with your life partner, but get it down. Once it’s on the calendar, it’s going to happen. You need it to happen.
Kids are hard on a marriage and they’re even harder on a second or third marriage. You pledged to love, honor and cherish your husband, wife, or life partner forever… it’s hard, really hard to do that without spending any time together other than passing each other on the way to your kids’ events or on the stairs moving laundry and heading to mow the grass.
Take this advice! It works. Schedule your dates and you won’t regret it.
Now… when is your next date? Ours is Friday, January 29th, and we have the 29th of every month scheduled for the whole year because that’s the day we got married. After that? February 11th, just because it fits in nicely with our schedule. You can, of course, cancel your date or reschedule/post pone your date, but that takes communication. If you’re going to do it, go for the reschedule in lieu of the cancellation. You’ll be so happy you did.
Within the first 4 months, I know you’ll know your wife or husband better and feel closer than you have in a very long time.
