January 7, 2010
Well, we’re on our way. Got the new 2010 Monster Calendar and wrote down all the important dates to remember in it. Among them, and new to our year is of course the very reason for this blog–DATES. Not just dates on the calendar, of course, but dates, real dates with my husband scheduled twice a month beginning next Thursday night about ten days to 3 weeks apart, usually falling in the middle of the month and always falling on the 29th of the month (except in February). The 29th is our anniversary celebration. We’ve been doing the monthly celebration of our wedding day for 4 months now, and it’s very sweet. Very special and each month gets a little more special. We’re remembering better, not that we’ve skipped any, but we are actually doing something sweet for each other, and not just in the form of gifts, though Shahram has gotten me some very nice gifts along the way. The gift giving is a bit of practice also. We are learning how to be better gift givers through giving more often and receiving honest feedback. It’s sweet to get an engraved piece of jewelry, but if you are only wearing it because it was a gift and not because you love it… well, it kind of encourages more gifts that suit the giver than suit the givee. And, let’s face it, we all want to be known by our mate more intimately than by any other person. So a gift to our mate should be very special, very intimate, unique–something that says, “I really know you, and because I know you, I love you. And because I love you, I want to know you, and show you I know you.” This doesn’t have to come in the form of gifts or cards. A few words written down, a memory refreshed, a walk around the block holding hands. It’s the way we connect, not just the quality, but the quantity that matters. And the more often we connect lovingly and not just about whether or not the diapers made it to the trash can, the more likely we are to talk about even the diapers lovingly. I want to light up every time Shahram comes into the room. The fire is coming back. I’m so excited about our date next Thursday. I think we’ll probably go see that movie, It’s Complicated, with Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, and Steve Martin.
I think that though things are rocky right now with my upcoming surgery, and not knowing whether we can sell our house and where will we be moving if we do… we can be each other’s refuge–we should be–we WANT to be, every few weeks for a few hours. I love Shahram. This is going to be lovely. I’m even looking forward to just sitting in Barnes and Noble or some other little quiet place and just talking.
While Shahram was on vacation the last two weeks, we spent every morning together having coffee and toast in the living room before the kids woke up. It was so nice, so comfortable and I didn’t want anyone else around. Wasn’t longing for a friend or other family members. I didn’t want to be anywhere other than where I was, with Shahram, and my toast and coffee. Now that he’s back at work, he’s still having breakfast with me, but he really does have work on his mind. I appreciate any time he can share with me and I know he feels the same about me. No iPhones allowed at breakfast.
